It's taken me a long time to get to a place where I feel able to share my own private memories of mark. I miss him every day, there's so many times I have heard a song come on the radio or my playlist and its one of "our" songs.
The truth is, Mark was the bestest friend I ever had.
I hadn't had any friends since school after bad experiences and Mark was the first person I had allowed to get really close to me since then.
It was so easy with him, he made me feel safe. I knew in my bones that he was a good guy and it was OK to let him in.
His friendship got me to a place where I was finally able to make friends again but mark was my best friend. He always will be.
We used to have little things we only did together, we used to do this little peace sign at each other and say "BFF" then giggle like hell cuz we knew how cheesy it was but we didn't care.
We used to dance together to our favourite songs when we went out, one of my favourite memories is head banging in rios, we got a little too close to each other and literally banged heads, then broke down in fits of giggles before getting back to moshing out.
Mark made me happy.
For the first time in so many years my smile wasn't a mask, my laugh wasn't fake and my heart and soul felt like it was healing, thanks to my marky, my BFF.
I took it for granted he would always be there.
I miss you so much, I really truly do and I would give just about anything to see you again.
I love you always, your BFF.
And ever and ever and ever xx